Elin’s Random Talk - 1 : Please, don’t ever settle.

I’ve been suffering from serious depression recently. If you're reading this, I hope all of you learn something, at least.

So, this is how the story began,  I was madly in love with someone for 5 years. Like, I would have done anything for him, literally, a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. 

Back then, I was just a little girl. I didn't even know my self-worth so I settled less than I deserved and I found myself trapped in a mess of chaos that’s even harder for me to get out. 

I was being super ignorant to my parents and my family just because our relationship didn’t workout the way we wanted it to be. I always protected him even though I had to lie to everyone. I was already fed up at that point. I was blamed for everything. I had to keep all my pain and frustation in.

I am writing this based on my personal experience. I am sorry if I offend somebody through my story.  It wasn’t my intention, I swear.

- and as time goes by - 

We both grown up as a man and a woman, I saw so many things from different aspects in life was so different. He changed so much until I couldn't recognized him anymore. It’s like we are slowly walking in a very different path. 

.. and the important part is, I didn't felt any self improvement in myself.
except, being a good liar to everyone.

I didn’t feel beautiful as a woman, I’ve been mistreated for so long and I just can’t walk away just because I thought I didn’t deserve anyone else, I am scared. People just didn’t know what really happened, because they only saw me smiling all the time.  

It’s never easy for me to walked away after 5 years, especially after I invested so much of myself into making it work. Know that by the time, I finally decided to leave, I already gave him countless chances but I am exhausted and totally heartbroken. Nothing is gonna change.

I’ve been depressed and no one could understand me. Not him, not everyone. 

I realized, I am not happy. 
This is not what I want.
I can’t hold this any longer. 

Yes, it’s one of the hardest thing I’ve ever done, to walked away when I still in love with him.

So many of you asked me, how can I managed my depression? 

The answer is, no one can help you unless it's you. You have to open your mind, heart and eyes to see everything clearly.

I leave him for good. 

I have to continue my life. 

I didn’t leave him just because I am no longer in love with him, but it’s the best for both of us and for the sake of my life. 

What I am trying to say is,

Please, don’t ever settle. Just because someone desires you doesn’t mean they value you. This is true.

Does he treats you with respect? Does he inspire you to be a better person? If he is the exact person twenty years from now that he is today, would you still want to marry him?

Don’t allow anyone to treat you poorly just because you love them. Just be brave to walk away and move on, there is a quote saying “there are plenty of fish in the sea”, it’s true! Please, don’t be the old Elin. Know your worth, add your tax, and find someone who truly deserves you.

Oh! The happiest part? I already move on and so much happier. I think you guys already realized that part too, lol, Cheers! xx

...And I would love to thank everyone for always being there for me and support me.

Special thanks to,

X,

My Mom & Dad. 

(I learned alot because both of you)

My lovely auntie, Hana. 

(I am sorry, I should have listened to you sooner)

My precious little sister, Keny. 

(for always making me laugh and forget everything easily)

My bestfriend, EL.

(for treating me the way I deserve to be treated and make sure that I am happy all the time)

_

And for all the family members,
I am sorry, I shouldn't have against you. Please understand that we both are really young and didn't realized this could be a serious matter for both family.